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I can say firsthand how painful loneliness during divorce can be.

I felt that way a lot. It feels sad and scary and alone and isolating, especially when the spouse finds someone new.

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Other really lonely times happen when your kids leave and you find yourself sitting in your house. So when I read this email, sent by a reader struggling with being alone, my heart went lonepy to him:.

I feel like when people are feeling lonely, they sort of panic, like loneliness is this really horrible, incurable disease. Unfortunately, unlike a doctor, I cannot answer how long it takes for the feeling of loneliness and being alone to go away.

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Healing from loneliness can also go in stages. But what can happen is, eivorced wake up one day and you surprisingly feel pretty good.

But then the next day you ahd lonely again. Or, you feel good for a few days until the loneliness returns. And, remember that you can still feel lonely if you are in a relationship. In fact, the worst loneliness is when you feel trapped in an unhappy relationship.

How am I going to make this day good? Now, I get it that we all have responsibilities like work, errands, family, chores, cleaning, etc. Those are things we have to do.

That might mean a walk in a beautiful park, going to see an old friend, playing tennis, watching a funny movie, or ordering your lonelg deep dish pizza. As someone who has been alone for most of my adult life, I can strongly say that doing things you enjoy makes loneliness I m divorced and lonely more manageable.

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Not so bad. But you have to get through the lonely time first, to get to your future love.

And, I think a lot of people settle into bad relationships for the number one reason that divorcrd fear being alone and lonely. What I I m divorced and lonely to say to this sweet man is a couple things. First, is it possible to see your daughter more? Think of ways to make that happen.

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It must be a very hard adjustment. Basic, simple things in life.

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Live day to day until you figure out what and who you want next in your life. Because if you can learn to enjoy time by yourself, you will never feel desperate to be in a relationship for fear of being alone.

Meaning, you will get into the relationship for the right reason—because you fell in love, not because you found refuge from loneliness. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator of her website, Divorced Girl Smiling. Pilossoph lives with her family in Chicago. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. So when I read this I m divorced and lonely, sent by a reader struggling with being alone, my heart went out to him: Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that annd often remain unheard.

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Join HuffPost Plus. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

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Yes, you can find true love! I, like you, had completely lost hope in finding love after my brutal divorce in In November of , my 18 year. Like a pit pony breathing fresh air for the first time after years underground — that's how I felt when I started living alone after 20 years of. For me to help frame my experience with loneliness, I feel like I need tell you some of my story. I am a 38 year old man that has been divorced.

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Yes, you can find true love! I, like you, had completely lost hope in finding love after my brutal divorce in In November of , my 18 year. (I AM LIVING PROOF THAT IS NOT TRUE!) So how do we turn things around and stop the loneliness after our divorce? One of the first things is. I've been divorced for two years and I haven't had another Fiona Caine offers her advice on feeling lonely after a divorce, and moving on.

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